The Problem with Social and Emotional Learning (SEL)

How Good Intentions with Misguided Direction Fail Our Children

Social and Emotional Learning, known in education as SEL, is a hot topic in today’s educational world, is also a problem.  The effects are being felt in every school district, and it’s really stirring up concern among Christian parents and educators. Why?  Because it leaves God and what it means to be human out of the equation.  What was meant as a well-meaning focus on improving kids' emotional well-being has done more damage than good.

In a recent episode of Clearly Christian, Dr. Cy Smith sat down with Dr. Tyler Groves, Head of School at Whitefield Christian Academy and co-author of Growing with One Another, to bring clarity, biblical grounding, and practical wisdom to the conversation.  It’s a real conversation about the real issues that are affecting real people. 

When you support the well-intentioned purpose of SEL, caring for kids and their emotional and spiritual needs, but argue against the governmental mandates that refuse to include God in the answers, it makes for a candid discussion about what is right and what is wrong.  In this podcast, Dr. Groves and Dr. Smith explored how SEL, when rooted in a biblical worldview, could actually have supported the discipleship of young people, rather than distract from it. But as always, when the government gets involved, it misses the mark and likely does harm.

Is SEL a Threat—or a Tool for Christian Formation?

Dr. Smith opened the episode by addressing the elephant in the room: many Christians are wary of SEL because of its ties to secular ideologies and public education systems. As he pointed out, education is never value-neutral. There’s always an underlying worldview, so we have to be vigilant.  Someone values something, or it wouldn’t be taught. But who is doing the teaching, and what values are they based upon?

Dr. Groves offered a helpful reframing. He encouraged listeners not to throw out SEL altogether, but to examine its foundational ideas through a biblical lens. Emotions, social interaction, and self-awareness aren’t modern inventions are part of God’s design.

“Jesus experienced grief, empathy, sorrow, and compassion,” Groves explained. “If He experienced emotions, then we know they’re part of what it means to be human, and we need to teach students how to steward them.”

How Christian SEL Differs from the Secular Model

One of the major distinctions Dr. Groves drew was about the center of the SEL conversation. In most secular models, the self is the starting point. But for Christians, it begins with God.

Biblical self-awareness isn’t about simply identifying your preferences or emotions.  It’s about asking God to search your heart. It’s about humility, accountability, and a commitment to personal growth that’s tied to Christlikeness, not just comfort.

“We start with God’s good design,” Groves said. “Not just what’s wrong with the world, but what was right from the beginning.”

Dr. Smith echoed this, noting that maturity isn’t just emotional regulation; it’s spiritual formation. SEL, if handled biblically, can align closely with the process of sanctification.

The Power of ‘One Another’

A key theme in Dr. Groves’ book and this episode was the use of the “one another” passages in Scripture. Commands like love one another, forgive one another, bear with one another, and encourage one another are opposite to the self-focus in SEL.

Rather than adopting secular terminology, Groves advocates for returning to this biblical language. When students are taught to “outdo one another in showing honor” or to “build one another up,” they’re not just becoming socially aware; they’re being discipled.

It’s a shift from self-centered growth to others-centered service, rooted in Christ.

What This Means for Parents, Educators, and Public Schools

For Christian parents and educators, the takeaway is clear: don’t ignore SEL. Instead, teach it faithfully. Integrate emotional and social instruction into discipleship. Model empathy and compassion the way Jesus did—but always point back to Scripture.

Dr. Groves also had an encouraging word for those working in public schools. Even in environments where faith can’t be taught directly, Christian educators can live out biblical values, foster healthy relationships, and pray for their students. Prayer, he emphasized, is never a concession.  It’s your greatest resource.

Chalkboard Points: Final Takeaways

Every episode of Clearly Christian ends with two Chalkboard Points—practical truths worth writing down. This week’s were:

1.        Education cannot be value-neutral. Every classroom and curriculum carries a worldview. Be alert, be involved, and make sure God’s Word is your guide.

2.        You can't remove or separate God from effective social and emotional learning. Real growth, emotional, social, or otherwise, only happens when it’s connected to the truth of God’s design.

This episode is a must-listen for anyone navigating the intersection of education, culture, and faith. It’s thoughtful, challenging, and hopeful—and it reminds us that Christ is not only the source of truth but also the model for how we relate to one another.

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about Dr. Cy Smith, Mansfield Christian School, and/or the Clearly Christian Education movement, click on ClearlyChristianEducation.com.